My Visit Back Home So Far: A Tango of Peace and Stress

I haven’t been home in about 7-8 months. So far after being home one day, I’ve realized how much I’ve missed it. I’m been having fun, frank conversations with my mother. My dad hasn’t been hassling either. unfortunately I’ve also learned what has been happening in my absence. I’ll cover the bad before the good.

After a long walk with my mom, I’ve come to understand that my families money problems are worse than I’d imagined. Let me start by saying I had a damn cushy childhood. Raised in a expansive gated community, I never really knew what it was like to not have money for something when I was younger. My Parents paid more for my elementary school and most American pay for their college. Today my mom told me she might need to sell my car to keep me in school; her company is paying her 12% less this year.

“Its so much harder now, there was always just so much money”

I’m not trying to complain, but this has really shaken up my life. My parents want to move me back into on campus housing so that they can put off my housing payments. But as someone who is in transition, the thought of living with a random group of male roommates is horrifying. So now I find myself searching frantically for a cheap place to live or somebody seeking a roommate who I could live with. I’ve adopted a lot of responsibility this summer, taking a grand total of zero dollars from my parents. however, I am being thrust into a new and stressful situation. Anyway, this has been on my mind and has been wearing me out.

The happy times. My Mom and I made dinner together and we’ll be doing it again. We made bruschetta and paninis. The paninis were good, but sadly the bruschetta was a bit bland. The garlic we had was pretty worthless and the tomatoes surprisingly devoid of flavor. The wine was good though, Bolla,  a nice inexpensive Chianti.  Tomorrow I’ll be making enchiladas. Our conversations have been wonderful and I feel so much more at peace around home. Even though I am not out to them, its clear that I have changed mentally and emotionally for the better. I have mellowed out and reorganized my priorities. I am now confident that my parents will accept me for who I am. I desperately want to tell them now, but I think I should wait until they visit me in August.

Hopefully things will turn out well. I’m so thankful to have a loving, whole family. Even thought this is a stressful time, I will learn from it and grow. I am still very fortunate.

~Emily

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